Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
