This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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