I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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