I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
