just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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