He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
