Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
