I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
