I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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