Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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