i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
