he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
