I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
