Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
