Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
