Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
