did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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