i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
