im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i will never coherently bang her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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