I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
