There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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