Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
