Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
