What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just google imaged poop.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
