Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
