Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
