he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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