At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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