Too much gin, very little bucket
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
