I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
