therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize