we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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