i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
