I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
