My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
