sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You pole danced in your parka.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize