i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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