garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
