Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
