My room smells like vodka and shame
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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