hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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