what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
