While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
