oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize