I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i drank out of a bidet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
