He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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