Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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