I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
