Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Welp...herpes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
