At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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