My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This house was built for laser tag.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
