As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Use "feeling words"
Yay
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
