how can u be prego again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
