Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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