he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
