I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
