I look better un-naked...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
