Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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