one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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