when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
