This girl is more easily done than said...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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