Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
