check it out our google latitudes are spooning
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize