I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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