Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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